Got the “blues?”

Posted on November 17, 2011 by sheryl

We all have those days when we don’t feel particularly motivated. We’re in a bad mood!  It’s easy to listen to that “you can’t do this” voice and resign ourselves to an unproductive day.

Sometimes ideas mull through our thoughts and we consider how to turn our mood around.  But it can be easy to dismiss those thoughts and continue on with our pity party.

I challenge you to take a few minutes to write about what seems to help lift your mood.  There’s something about the activity of writing it down that increases the likelihood you’ll refer to it again and carry out the action.  Try to list as many things as you can think of.  And add to the list as things come to mind later.

Some of my ways to nip a “low” day are to listen to upbeat music, go for a brisk walk and pray (if the weather doesn’t permit, I do some yoga and pilates) write a note, e-mail, or text message someone who I know can use the encouragement, take a half hour to do some artistic activity, read my Bible or a devotional, and do a few minutes of gardening or yard work, etc.  You don’t have to devote your entire day to these things.  But the realization that you need a mood change and then changing your behavior at that moment is the key.

A good friend of mine has a daughter who’s been fighting cancer this year.  She called me recently and said, “How are you doing?”  She told me she knows her world can get very small and sad unless she moves outward and intentionally engages with others.  For her, asking how I was doing and listening to my response allows her a respite from the crisis.

Even something mundane like vacuuming for a few minutes can lift your mood.  The sound of the motor, moving the vacuum around the room, watching the lines increase on the carpet, etc., can somehow give you a sense of accomplishment and rev up your energy level.

Top blogger and public speaker, Michael Hyatt, shares his own experience with a bad day and how he turned his mood around to become upbeat again before a speaking engagement.  I like his playlist idea especially.  After reading his comments, make your own list and take action.  Go for it!  I’d love to hear what works for you.

Here are Michael’s thoughts.  He’s concise and you can read this in a few minutes.

http://michaelhyatt.com/how-to-get-out-of-that-funk.html

Photo:  istockphoto.com/Angelika Schwarz

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Playtime!

Posted on July 31, 2011 by sheryl

Remember that proverb, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy?”  It’s true.  Workaholics are missing out on so much and so are the people who love them.

I read about a Dad who participated in community musical theater with his children. He remarked how being a part of that playful activity enhanced his time with his kids.  Even after the performances were long over, they were still singing the songs together complete with choreography while doing household chores.  It sure made cleaning the kitchen more enjoyable.

We’ve all heard some of the physical benefits of play and recreation.  Blood pressure can be reduced.  We experience a boost in our energy levels.  But there are many other pluses as well.

  • Deepening and nurturing our relationships with family members and friends.
  • A clarity in our ability to discern what truly matters in life and what is “small stuff.”
  • An increase in self-confidence.
  • Creating a legacy of positive memories.

Running around the backyard playing ball and “hide and go seek” were favorite times with our foster grand kids.  The laughter and affection those activities generated are some of my happiest memories.

One thing I  love about being a Baby Boomer is giving myself permission to play more.  Funny how it takes us decades to figure out how significant and rewarding play can be.

So when was the last time you participated in a squirt gun escapade?

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Will Success Spoil Pia Toscano?

Posted on April 26, 2011 by sheryl

If you are a follower of American Idol this season, you know who Pia Toscano is.  Placing 9th in this year’s competition, the somewhat shy and talented Pia, who most viewers thought would contend for one of the top few spots, was eliminated early.  As soon as she left the stage, she was pursued by the recording industry and the entourage of celebrity media.

Many achieve fame but few achieve respect and honor.  To achieve both and maintain it throughout life is indeed a rarity.  The lures of fame pull at the balance and frame of reference needed to hold it together while navigating the red carpet of stardom.

The middle years are filled with opportunities to influence the up and coming generations.  We are related to them, work alongside them and encounter them in all areas of our lives.  But it takes intentional work to connect beyond casual contact.  It takes time and real devotion to listen.

A few years ago I did a Christmas retail stint in an apparel chain store geared to women under 30.  I soon found out I was older than most of my co-workers’ mothers.  After they got over the shock of our age difference and the fact that I couldn’t learn the computerized cash register in a nanosecond (they were incredibly patient with me) the girls began to tell me about their personal lives, their loves, and share their hopes and dreams for the future.  I learned to love and accept them. I began to see life a bit differently as I listened to their stories.  And I glaringly saw how my generation has embraced our boomer comfort zone.  When we show an interest in others many doors of opportunity to influence others will open.

We’ve all seen the casualties along the way…those who sold it all for a greater height on the precarious pedestal.  It remains to be seen what Pia’s future holds.  I hope she has some dear friends and close family members…listeners of many generations who she’s grown close to and values above any notoriety she achieves.  And along the way I hope she meets and learns from people who value respect and honor above fame.

More later on multi-generational influence and mentoring.

©Copyright 2011 Sheryl Bullock

sherylbullock.com

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Can Adversity Be A Good Thing?

Posted on March 17, 2011 by sheryl

Why re-write a good thing?  I know I can’t top this blog post written by Michael Hyatt, CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishing.  So I’m passing it along to you today.  May it inspire you to ask new questions about whatever adversity you may be facing.

http://michaelhyatt.com/seven-better-questions-you-can-ask-in-the-midst-of-adversity.html

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Moving On…

Posted on February 13, 2011 by sheryl

I’m in the midst of packing boxes.  Our home goes up for sale tomorrow.

Moving is frequently a part of the mid-life years.  Usually, it’s about downsizing.  But sometimes people want more space. I’m finding I like house cleaning less and less so we’re downsizing a bit more.  But we’re going back to a spacious yard again after being on a cozy postage-stamp sized lot.  I have to say we’ve learned some things about water efficient landscaping which I hope we can put into practice on the larger parcel.

I thought I got rid of many things two years ago when we moved into this home which was formerly our vacation home.  Truthfully, I don’t notice much difference packing this time when I compare it to leaving our prior home in early 2009…the home we were in for 30+ years.  Seems like we’ve managed to keep plenty and accumulate even more.  I sense another garage sale somewhere in my future.

People ask how we can leave such a beautiful view.  I ask myself that too.  But I’ve learned that life is about much more than the house and the view.  For us it’s also about having a corner for a workbench and tools…room for a man to create.  It’s about a couple fruit trees and tomato vines you enjoy tending and harvesting.  It’s also about meaningful work…something you know you were created to do.  Spiritual community is another important factor.  And that’s a unique thing similar to finding a shoe that fits well.  We found spiritual community but didn’t get to “commune” too often as it was a 50 minute drive to do so.

We’ll be trading ocean sunset views for vistas of snow-topped peaks.  Not too bad, actually.  Summer temperatures will be very hot so we’ll head for the shore and our community in Southern California when it starts to sizzle.

We’ll get to enjoy some fun times with our kids and tuck in the little ones with kisses and a bedtime story.  That’s one scene I don’t want to miss.

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Once upon a time…

Posted on January 31, 2011 by sheryl

I’m preparing a talk for a speaking engagement.  It’s one of those situations when I get to pick the topic for a group of people I’ve never met before.  Thinking over assorted subjects gave me pause to consider how much I love to hear stories and like to incorporate them into my speaking opportunities.

I’ve heard some good ones recently…like how finding a penny in a parking lot changed someone’s entire train of thought from fearing to trusting.  At my college graduation, tennis great, Michael Chang, told a story about how his great-grandmother’s miraculous healing from cancer impacted the spiritual journey of the generations that followed her.

Just about any verb out there describes the impact of a story.  Stories teach, inspire, warn, create, entertain, and a plethora of other things.  By the time we reach mid-life we’ve heard thousands of them.  And let’s face it, as adults we told thousands of them too.  At the dinner table my Dad told me one of those military stories about watching impoverished Chinese swim out into the harbor to eat the nasty leftovers the kitchen crew through over the side of their ship.  That one was to get me to finish my vegetables…with gratefulness. I must say no photos were needed to enhance the story.  My imagination took care of that.

My husband remembers the entertaining family tale about his uncle really wanting to fly so he strapped on some kind of home-made wings and jumped off the barn roof resulting in a broken arm.  That one created some laughter and good jokes.

Stories allowed me to form a mental picture of my paternal grandfather who died ten years before I was born.  I looked at black & white snapshots of solemn faced people grouped together in a pose on a lawn.  The impact was quite meaningless until they were enhanced by memories verbally relived by my grandmother and Dad of his adventurous spirit and  unusual antics.  Those stories are of great value to me and I’ve passed them on to my children.

Anyone can read a story, but ah….telling one?  That’s a fine art.  A unique bond is created between teller and listener.  What are some of your experiences with meaningful stories?

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Life with shoes on the wrong feet

Posted on January 23, 2011 by sheryl

Once the kids start leaving the nest, we in mid-life find ourselves with more freedom.  While we may have been craving this for a long time, suddenly having choices may be a bit overwhelming.

While contemplating major decisions in my life I’ve come to realize adventure is part of the journey.  After living with the typical first-born tendencies, I find it a challenge to let myself live outside the box.

I’m realizing I can make responsible choices and still explore some unknowns.  We’re trying to decide the next place we will live.  I say “next” because I’m realizing we don’t have to stay in one place for the rest of our lives.  Because we are self-employed as a writer and a life & business coach, we are free to live anywhere.  Our pasts have been somewhat typical in that we raised a family, held jobs for 15 years at a time and didn’t move while the kids were at home with us.  Now suddenly, we’re contemplating a move again after two years.  It feels a bit like I’ve got shoes on the wrong feet. Many of us were programmed to stay put and play it safe.  I’m learning to run with shoes on the wrong feet.

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A Different Kind of Celebration

Posted on December 20, 2010 by sheryl

A different December it has been.  Things we expected to happen, didn’t.  Events we didn’t think would happen,  became unwelcome reality.  Such is life for all of us.

Looking at this unconventional Christmas tree reminded me of the fact that our Christmas celebrations take on various forms.  You’ve probably had an unconventional Christmas at some point.  Maybe it was a pleasant surprise where someone came through the door you were not expecting to see.  Maybe a loved one was not able to join you so you took Christmas to their hospital bedside or the visitors’ room at the prison.  Did you get to play in the snow?  Or perhaps you traded a “White Christmas” for a sunnier climate far away from stockings hung by the chimney with care.

This year both our children and their families will spend Christmas with their spouses’ families…both really nice families, I must say.  We are grateful for them!  We enjoyed our kids’ company over Thanksgiving and so they’ll be in different locations for Christmas Day. That leaves Rich and I on our own to celebrate.  With rain being forecast for most of Christmas week we decided to leave town for a few days and head 3 hours north for a change of scenery and relief from “cabin fever.”  We won’t escape the rain, but we will have more options for activities than our small town offers.  It will be a different Christmas for us.

The little town of Bethlehem had a very unconventional night 2,000 years ago.  They didn’t call it Christmas, but I think they called it Miraculous.  A giant star showed up along with an angel choir like nothing they’d ever seen or heard.  The downside?  After a long, uncomfortable journey, a young woman gave birth to her baby in a less than ideal place.  Instead of being surrounded and aided by the women of her family in a home, she and her husband found themselves in an animal stall making due with hay as the birthing bed for her and her new little King.  It was a very strange way for the Son of God to make his entrance.  However, this humble setting in no way diminished the event.  The world was supernaturally changed for the better by the coming of the Christ child.

Whatever your circumstances this year, whether delightful or disappointing, may the peace of Christ and His gift of abundant life for you be an encouragement.  May you be able to celebrate this season in the midst of your change or uncertainty, knowing that there is hope and light for you because of the His coming.

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The Invitation

Posted on December 3, 2010 by sheryl

Did you ever feel the world was invited to a party and your invitation got lost in the mail?  Sometimes we long to be included or invited to something, but the invitation never comes.  This time of  year that can be especially true.  Most people want connection with others.  We know that socialization is good for us.  But in the frantic pace of life, especially at the holidays, we can lose sight of how much an invitation can mean to someone.

I’m not talking about a 5 course candlelight dinner.  Although if that’s what you love to do for others, then go ahead and put out an elegant spread.  But truly, it doesn’t take much to show a friend you would enjoy their company.

Over the years my husband and I have been told we have the gift of hospitality.  I’ve learned that simplicity is just fine.  Sometimes it’s just inviting someone over to watch a DVD while munching popcorn or seeing if someone wants to meet you somewhere for coffee.  We gave alot of parties through the years.  So many people do nothing on New Year’s Eve and it’s a great time to have friends over. They were generally planned at the last minute and we always found people were eager to come, laugh and be with others rather than sit at home.  I’ve learned that I don’t have to be elaborate, just welcoming.

During our first year in this location on the central coast of California, it was Rich’s 60th birthday and I wanted to do something special for him.  I considered throwing a party in our previous community and knew I had a number of friends who’d love to volunteer their home, but I really felt as part of our acclimation to a new location, I should think up some kind of celebration here in our new community.  So I sent out invites to about 20 people for a homemade chili dinner.  Everyone I invited knew at least one other person but it was an interesting mix.  Some were neighbors while others were people we’d known for years who were a 40 minute drive away.  And some were very new acquaintances.  18 people showed up and had a great time.  People kept remarking over the next couple weeks how much they enjoyed being included and how nice the other people were who joined us.  (I think it helped that the Major League Baseball playoffs were on TV!)

When I dare to do something novel when it comes to inviting someone to an event, whether I create it or someone else does, I’m always reminded afterward that time spent wondering or worrying if it’s a good idea is needless.  The bottom line is people just like to be invited.

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Take this job and…love it!

Posted on November 18, 2010 by sheryl

It was a room of 20+ people ranging in age from 18 to 60+ years of age discussing work issues.  A local TV station hosted a forum related to how people function in the workplace.  The tension in the room was palpable.  There were opinions ranging from “if you paid me enough, maybe I’d stay longer” to “they don’t show up for work on time.”  And there were those who fit somewhere in the middle in their work philosophies.  If you are in mid-life years right now in 2010, your views about work may be a combination of more than one era.

Here’s a look at the various groups:

  • Traditionalist/Silent Generation:  1927-1945
  • Baby Boomers:  1946-1964
  • Generation X:  1965-1983
  • Generation Y:  1984-2002
  • Generation Z”  2003-

Boomers were probably raised with the “you are lucky to have this job” mindset.  While Gen Y-ers might emote more of a “what do you have to offer me?” attitude.  The challenges of bridging the generation gap continue!

Many employers have come to the realization they assume too much with employees.  With that awareness comes the quandary of how to create a productive as well as enjoyable work environment comprised of Boomers, Gen X-ers (also known as “Busters”) and Gen Y-ers.  With so many jobs being technology-oriented, Boomers are finding themselves working side by side with digital-savvy Gen Y-ers.  The mixture can be combustible at times.  But it doesn’t have to be.

I’d like to hear from some of you…..

What have been your experiences, whether positive or unpleasant, working with multiple age groups?  Please take a minute to share them with us as well as anything you may have learned in the process.

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