with
Mike Bellah
Most of us believe (if we are honest enough to admit it) that happiness comes through getting.
Ebenezer Scrooge was unhappy not because of a failure to get but to give, and this, I submit, is the most important message of Christmas.
The baby in Bethlehem's manger was a gift, a present from a loving heavenly father to his lost and hurting children.
Why was Ebenezer Scrooge so unhappy? If you knew only the man's assets and had never read Dickens's "A Christmas Carol," probably you could not guess the answer. Most of us believe (if we are honest enough to admit it) that happiness comes through getting. If only I can get a new (pick one) house, car, job, promotion, or relationship, I will be happy. But Ebenezer Scrooge was unhappy not because of a failure to get but to give, and this, I submit, is the most important message of Christmas.
I had to become a parent before I discovered the principle for myself. As a child the chief joy in life, especially at Christmas time, was getting. I still remember the happiness I felt receiving my first new Western Flyer bicycle, and what male child of the 1950s will forget his first Daisy Red Ryder BB gun? I also remember how quickly the new wore off of these gifts. And I remember my parents' dismay when, two days after Christmas, my siblings and I were more interested in building a fort from discarded boxes than playing with the expensive toys they had housed.
Similarly, as a parent I saw my own kids lose interest in their share of new toys. But it was worth it. Words simply cannot describe the joy Charlotte and I received watching our five open gifts on Christmas morning (a ritual that often began before 6:00 a.m. when we finally gave in to incessant and insistent little voices at our bedside informing us that Santa Claus had indeed arrived).
As I write these words, I think about the scooter Josh received at age four, and I wonder if he will ever enjoy driving his pickup truck as much as he did pushing that scooter. Similarly, I think of our Jonathan opening Tolkein's Lord of the Rings Trilogy, and I wonder if he and his wife Holly will one day receive as much pleasure reading them to their kids as his parents did to him. I could go on. Janet, Jeremy, and Joni (all young adults living away from home now) each call to mind a picture of a joyful child on Christmas morning, their delight surpassed only by that of their parents.
But I don't need to illustrate the principle further; you have your own memories. By midlife all of us should know that our best joys come through giving. And yet we forget; don't we? Maybe it's all those commercials that convince us we really can't be satisfied unless we buy the new and improved version of some product (translation: happiness comes through getting).
Christmas is a good time of year to remind ourselves of the truth. The most important message of Christmas is that of joyous giving. It's the message of our seasonal classics like "A Christmas Carol" and "It's A Wonderful Life." And, more importantly, it's the message of that first Christmas. For the baby in Bethlehem's manger was a gift, a present from a loving heavenly father to his lost and hurting children, a gift the Bible says brought "good tidings of great joy" to giver and receiver alike.
Finally, the message of joyous giving is the most important message of my columns. Where will we find happiness in the second half of life? The same place we found it in the first half. Look around you. What are your opportunities to give with joy? These are your best chances at midlife happiness.
All my Christmas columns:
The Most Important
Christmas Message
In Search of
a Christmas Tree
I Believe in You,
Santa
Christmas in July
My Christmas blogs:
The
Day after Christmas
Unexpected
Gifts
The
Granddaughters Who Saved Christmas